Episode 5
She Started Over after 50 in Mexico (Amazing Results)
🌍 Welcome to The Passport Jane Podcast!
At 50, Carol thought her life was over. Her husband had just left her, her finances were in ruins, and she found herself alone for the first time since she was 17.
But sometimes endings become new beginnings...
Today, Carol is living her best life in Mérida, Mexico. She runs her own pet-sitting business, gets emergency medical care for $90 (instead of thousands), takes $4 Uber comfort rides, and has discovered an incredible international community.
Her story proves it's never too late to start over.
🌟 Key Points from This Story:
- How she discovered Mérida by accident
- The day everything collapsed financially
- Her strategy for rebuilding her life from zero
- Why the Mexican healthcare system amazed her
- The unexpected business opportunities she found
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Transcript
Welcome to the Passport Jane podcast. I get asked all the time. How did I end up with the Passport
Speaker:Jane podcast? And it's easy. I started traveling, looking at real estate, starting to explore other
Speaker:countries, meeting other real estate agents. But what I found is I met amazing people. I met amazing,
Speaker:especially women who were on a journey, women who had made the leap of faith to move overseas.
Speaker:And what I was so impressed with their story, not only did they take the leap to move overseas,
Speaker:but when they got settled, they did amazing things. They started businesses. They started
Speaker:second careers. They wrote books. They became artists. They became photojournalists. They
Speaker:became war correspondents. They started living their most amazing lives. And not only did they
Speaker:do that, they did that in another country. I found their stories so interesting that I wanted to share
Speaker:those. So it's a little bit of the journey that I want to share with you. The stories of amazing
Speaker:women who have made the leap of faith and are living amazing, adventurous lives. Sometimes
Speaker:it's their second act in life, and they're doing it in another country. All right. Well,
Speaker:Carol, thank you so much for joining me today. I can't wait to hear your story. So as you know,
Speaker:we Passport Jane records inspiring stories of women on a journey. And I've heard you have an
Speaker:amazing story. So I guess where do you want to start? Do you want to start like when you're a
Speaker:child or do you want to start in Santa Rosa, California? I'm from California, Northern
Speaker:California. And I had a pretty normal life in Northern California. I raised three boys. I was a,
Speaker:you know, a football mom and all that kind of stuff. And how old are your boys? Well,
Speaker:now my boys are like in their forties. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. They're grown boys now and they
Speaker:have kids of their own. I have three grown ones as well. Very good. There's another connection.
Speaker:Oh, I love my boys that are now men. Yes. I really love it. It's so interesting to see,
Speaker:especially when you're a boy mom. And then you raise them and then they're like, yes,
Speaker:or if they have children or their careers and you're real about them. I do. I know they're not
Speaker:their guys, you know, but I still like to baby them. Like they won't say that because I wasn't
Speaker:at home very much. I worked a lot, but when they do come to visit, I will actually make breakfast
Speaker:or like order something or do something or buy them little cookies they love. Yes. Or
Speaker:Valentine's I send them little cookies. I know I do that. And yeah, it's a great, it's always there.
Speaker:It's always there. But yeah. So I was at first husband's 20 years. Great. All this stuff. And
Speaker:then I kind of had a new kind of a thing. We went our own ways. And then I remarried. Okay.
Speaker:And I remarried somebody that had had a great career with one of the airlines. Okay. Really
Speaker:good pension is a little bit older. We, um, how old were you? My second marriage to do was before
Speaker:I turned 50. Okay. Because I had a nice 50th birthday. Oh, okay. I did too. So in France,
Speaker:not to eat. Yeah. So, um, so we had an invitation from a family friend of ours,
Speaker:somebody that had lived with my family when I was a little girl and he's like my Mexican brother to
Speaker:come and visit his family in Guadalajara. And so this was with my second husband. And when we were
Speaker:going there, I started to look into something I'd never heard about was expats. Like I'd never
Speaker:considered that, but husband too. And now he's my husband. Yeah. Um, he's kind of, uh, anxious and
Speaker:things and not always happy. And I was always looking, what's going to make him happy. How
Speaker:am I going to make him happy? And when we were going to go to Guadalajara, we heard about this
Speaker:place nearby. Uh, that was like an expat community. Uh-huh. Decided to check it out. Well,
Speaker:reading that, you know, you go down a little vortex spiral thing, heard about this place. I'd
Speaker:never heard about called Merida. Yeah. Right. Saw these things called Canotes. Uh-huh. Turns out
Speaker:they're called Cenotes. Cenotes. Right. You know, I'd never heard of any of these things ever, ever,
Speaker:ever. And so we made this trip an exploratory trip. Uh-huh. And we came, you know, people that
Speaker:live in Merida know like May is like a really hot month. Yeah. The worst. It's the hottest month.
Speaker:Right. The first time I came to Merida, my first visit was in May. Mine too. Mine too. And I still,
Speaker:it was, I was enchanted. Yeah. I like to go to bed around eight 30. Honestly, I do. Well,
Speaker:I stayed up later because everybody does. Yeah. And I remember walking around the streets and
Speaker:these parks and these buildings. And there was this vibe, this feeling. Of life. Of life. And
Speaker:I saw like grandparents and abuelos, you know, with grandchildren on the steps of these church
Speaker:and just, and there was something that happened. And I guess it just happened with me because
Speaker:about a year later my husband left. I love that. I was like, where'd he go? Where'd he go? He went
Speaker:to Reno. He went to Reno. All places. That's amazing. I love that. It's just like, you know,
Speaker:and so it's your journey. It was your journey. And I didn't know that because at the time my
Speaker:mindset was that I've married somebody who's inheriting some money. I already was test
Speaker:driving new cars for when that money comes, you know, and all spent out all my, all my plans were
Speaker:all laid out. I really didn't have a lot of drive other than what am I going to spend, what am I,
Speaker:you know, and all of a sudden I found out I completely, the bottom dropped out. Thank you.
Speaker:Exactly. And I was left feeling like my life was hopeless. It was over and it was awful.
Speaker:Somehow day by day I had to make it on my own. We bought a house here together. Did you have
Speaker:to sell the house or did you keep it? It took him a couple of years though because he vanished
Speaker:for a little while. Were you able to stay at the house or did you move somewhere? I stayed at the
Speaker:house as long as I could. I had some people say, don't ever move out of the house. And then I got
Speaker:to a point in my life where I really wanted to let go of any negativity. I didn't want to hold
Speaker:on to material things. I wanted to kind of redefine myself. Start over fresh. Start over. And Facebook
Speaker:pages can be lovely, right? And I saw somebody post something about, oh, oh, this aqua aerobics
Speaker:class years before at the, when my three little boys, I used to teach a class at the YMCA for
Speaker:pregnant women in the swimming pool. And I said, I can teach that. Next thing I knew, I had a group
Speaker:of women in my swimming pool at my house. I used to watch dogs. I can do that. And I had this support
Speaker:group of, and you know, you're tracked. Yeah, you do attract it. Yeah. Great people. And it wasn't
Speaker:easy. It wasn't that much, but it was here in Mexico. It was enough. Yeah. And as time went by,
Speaker:we eventually sold the house, things moved on and I now live, and it's just like been a couple of
Speaker:months ago. I went, wow. I remember the day that I thought I'm never going to make it. I'm not
Speaker:meant to be alone. And I thought I was married. I was with my first husband when I met him when I
Speaker:was 17. Yeah. I had a good run. Yeah. You know, men were willing to marry me. That should make me
Speaker:feel good enough. You know, I'm okay. You know, I've got kids and I've learned how to be a better
Speaker:friend when I was 17 too. Oh, did you really like that? Yeah. I was just not quite married.
Speaker:Married 19. I got married at 19 too. Yeah. Well, no, I had my first baby at 19. Yes.
Speaker:Married at 17. First baby. Can you imagine? I feel like it's like dog years. Well, I do. I feel
Speaker:so young because I feel like, oh my gosh, I have a whole nother chapter, a whole nother life to
Speaker:live. With a young grandma. Yeah. With a young grandma. Me too. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. That's
Speaker:fantastic. I love that. Jane, I like it. So I realized, wow, I don't need, a man is not a plan.
Speaker:Okay. And I'm, I'm able now to really take the time to, to do things. Of course I do, you know,
Speaker:have a job and I earned some money, but I'm also, I found something about Mexico in general,
Speaker:especially Merida. If you have, feel like you have something to give, you know, there's so
Speaker:many opportunities. For a little while I was volunteering at the local orphanage. Oh really?
Speaker:And it was like my baby, like the baby fix. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm, I'm around animals
Speaker:and I really like that. And then there's other, these other women that I can't believe they're
Speaker:my friend. Like this one woman, she's a new friend of mine from England. She's lived in Morocco.
Speaker:She's lived in India. She's lived her, you know, families in Dubai and, and she's so interesting.
Speaker:Yeah. And you have this amazing community. Amazing. And that's what I've found when I've
Speaker:talked to people here, especially in Merida, there is this community of people and it's a
Speaker:global community. It's amazing. And there's amazing women here, single women. Do you know,
Speaker:when I left the airport last night, we, there was two of us, we were going to take a taxi together.
Speaker:Oh, it's a fantastic area. It's so easy to get in and out of the airport, but there was two of us.
Speaker:We're going to take a taxi into the central area. Well, it was a long wait for the taxi. So we're
Speaker:sitting on the curb. There's like 20 or 30 people ahead of us because they're, you know, it's kind
Speaker:of in a row and there was a, a young woman beside us. And she said, is this the line for the taxi?
Speaker:I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. And we were like, yes, the lines along.
Speaker:And then there was another woman after her. And so it ended up, we shared a van because they asked
Speaker:us, we're all going to Centro. Would y'all. And so I'm, we're in the van and I look around and I
Speaker:think this is amazing. There are four women here traveling alone that we're going. And I asked the lady,
Speaker:is this your, the young girl? She was a pretty young girl. I would say late twenties. And I said,
Speaker:are you here? She said, this is the first time she was, you know, she was told us she was here for a
Speaker:conference. And I was like, this is amazing. She got her taxi by herself. She asked somebody that
Speaker:looked like they might know she gets in this taxi, going to a hotel that she booked online.
Speaker:And I just loved that though. I love that the city is full of women. It really is when you,
Speaker:you know, we're interested. Oh, we want to find something. And I thought, oh, there's so many
Speaker:better candidates. I mean, I, I mean, I, the list went on and on about women that I think are so
Speaker:cool, really cool, really cool. And you, you know, what's interesting too, is I find that
Speaker:you don't really know how good a services or a city is or whatever, unless until something yuck
Speaker:happens, like how are they going to handle it? And I recently had, um, a medical scare.
Speaker:It was indigestion. Okay. I'm having a heart attack. And I had friend drove me to the hospital.
Speaker:Well, it wasn't, but the whole thing, she was like, I brought my American express and I'm like,
Speaker:I'm ready to wipe out any money. I mean, it was $90 emergency room with a great doctor, EKG,
Speaker:all these tests. The doctor ordered a, um, I love that your friend was willing to pay for it.
Speaker:Because if you go to the hospital, like, yeah, forget it. You're, you know, it's your financial
Speaker:freedom. It's gone, but you're going to live through it. Yeah. Um, but she, um, but then the
Speaker:doctor, I'm having a fantastic doctor, fantastic doctor. She ordered an ultrasound for me. Okay.
Speaker:They came to my house. Wow. It was 900 paces, which is about $45. Oh my goodness. They have
Speaker:an ultrasound in my house and blood work. Like there's, there's little medical things that you
Speaker:think about because all of it might, because when I had insurance, it was only good in the United
Speaker:States. Yes. And it's extremely expensive. It's extremely expensive. Yeah. Like even the worst
Speaker:things like, Oh, I'm going to be okay. Yeah. Oh, all right. And I have great care, which is
Speaker:amazing. Fantastic care. Yeah. Yeah. I know. That's great. It was good. So tell me, um, I know
Speaker:I, they told me that you are, uh, have a pet resort and that that's one of your things that
Speaker:you do. Well, what I, so I looked you up because I wanted to, you know, I like to research people
Speaker:before they come on the show to kind of get a feel for who they are, but you know what I loved? I
Speaker:found you in a lot of expat groups because people were recommending you and they were recommending
Speaker:you on a personal level. Like she's amazing. You've got to do this. And then I found your
Speaker:Instagram or your Facebook. And I loved that you took pictures of the pets that stayed with you.
Speaker:And it looked like they were like about to enjoy this great experience. It's fun. You know,
Speaker:it looked like they were your pets. You know, I loved it that you were like, just gearing up for
Speaker:your stay or your, did you ever go visit your grandma's house? I used to love visiting my
Speaker:grandma's house and they were cousins there. Right. I picture it like, I'm not going to have
Speaker:20 dogs. Yeah. I'm going to have dogs that are nice with my little old half blind Yorkie
Speaker:Terrier, 13 year old Newman. Yeah. Hello Newman. You know, it's my dog Newman. Yes. And so in,
Speaker:and at tops I'll have five and they're usually the same five. And if they sleep in the bed at home,
Speaker:they're going to sleep up in the bed at my house. So I don't take it for my dogs. I loved that
Speaker:because it looked like they were, you know, in the bed or on the couch or out by the pool,
Speaker:or it looked like it was. And I, that concept is so amazing because so many people would,
Speaker:they would love to leave. And especially with expats, it was so many expats here.
Speaker:They fly back, they fly back to home or they fly back for something or to go see their kids.
Speaker:And they don't want to have to take the dog back, but they need someone they trust. And so.
Speaker:And many dogs thrive in a big boarding place, a bunch of dogs running and playing. But like one
Speaker:of the dogs I recently watched 19 year old dogs. Oh my goodness. Can you imagine leaving a dog in a
Speaker:kennel? You know, never, you know, and I can't imagine. I have a Yorkie too. And I can't even
Speaker:imagine my dog, like he sleeps with me. It'd be like, yeah, he doesn't eat unless I sit beside
Speaker:him because he has to eat with me. That's the dogs I watch. Some dogs are like that, just a small
Speaker:percentage. But so I'm there. I'm that care. When people come over, I have to have a meet and greet.
Speaker:Um, you know, they meet and you know, they sniff around. It's like 20 minutes we meet.
Speaker:And then, and if it looks like it was a good fit, we just chat like this. When they come back with
Speaker:their dog, their dog is like, Oh yeah, this is our friend. Yeah. Not like we're, we're, we're,
Speaker:I, I see the dogs have, you know, their lifespan is so much shorter than ours.
Speaker:So like a day for a life and a dog is like a year for us, you know? So I try to make it nice.
Speaker:I love that. So is your business called Yaya or do they call you Yaya?
Speaker:It's called Yaya's doggy care. And initially, you know, like I had a broken heart. I missed
Speaker:my family. I was out here and all this stuff. And one of the things is that my grandkids call
Speaker:me Yaya. I'm not Greek, but it's great. It's Greek for grandma, but you know, grandma was
Speaker:taken because you have to trade with, you know, share with the other grandmothers and stuff.
Speaker:Um, but Yaya's doggy care. And so it's kind of like grandma, you're the grandma.
Speaker:The dogs only have what's the, you know, their own food, but I make little treats. I make little
Speaker:chicken treats, little fish treats. And, and, you know, and I do keep in mind their manners,
Speaker:you know, but they're going to get like, talk to and listen to, and, you know, I'm home though.
Speaker:I'm just like my grandma when you're lazy, you know, watching, I don't watch soap operas,
Speaker:like, you know, um, there's a telenovelas. Yeah. All the dogs, right. But the dogs,
Speaker:but, uh, it's, it's turned out really nice. And I had a handyman of mine make a really great
Speaker:little, I saw on Pinterest, uh, a little playhouse and I, uh, I had no idea the dogs were going to
Speaker:use it like they do. Yeah. So what do they do with it? So what do they do? Okay. A couple of them,
Speaker:cause I do the treats, you know, go, I go up, up and they go up into it and they go in the house,
Speaker:but there's these two little girls that are little sisters. One's a corgi puppy,
Speaker:uh, named Olive. And then there's her sister, Hazel, who's a little schnauzer mix. And they'd
Speaker:like to get away from the boys and they just go up there sometimes. That's their little getaway.
Speaker:They just go. Yeah. They just go up there sometimes. So they have their own little playhouse.
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah. So are you still teaching water aerobics? Or is that? I'm not, I don't have a
Speaker:Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, yeah. And so I didn't know if you're doing anything else. Do you have
Speaker:any other side hustles? I, you know, um, have you been watching, there's a show about a podcast
Speaker:called murders in the building. I love that. Yeah. I love that. I was joking with a friend of
Speaker:mine. Who's the one I mentioned, um, who she knew about all these things that I inherited. I said,
Speaker:you're like antiques, rogue show. I said, we're going to have a podcast about two
Speaker:90 women, you know, who are in Mexico. But other than that, it's just, um,
Speaker:so you collect things then like you have antiques or no, you just got rid of almost everything.
Speaker:But there's a few things, just a little, she's one of those people that just notices the little
Speaker:thing you have in your house. And she was like, Oh, these are from my mother's father was a sea
Speaker:captain. And there's some things that she knew the history of these little things. She goes,
Speaker:they handed those to the sailors. I was like, wow. Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Is it
Speaker:meeting people? Like you don't need to know everything because you're going to know something
Speaker:that knows, knows something about these other things. You don't know. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me
Speaker:what you love about Merida. Some of your favorite places, what, um, are on a daily, what's your
Speaker:daily habits. And I, I love that I can hear parrots, parrots and they don't, they're not
Speaker:talking, you know, they're the most, but when I look up and they're hard to see, but there's
Speaker:parrots and I love little geckos and you have a little kissing, get a mosquito, you know, the,
Speaker:in your house. Um, of course there's a sense and a vibe of the people, uh, they say,
Speaker:tranquila, you know, there's just a, a really, really cool, uh, respect for humankind, uh,
Speaker:humanity. And I, I think some of the people that I would think would, oh, gee, but look at,
Speaker:there's this, there's that, but you know, there's different priorities. And I feel like,
Speaker:like the local people here, their priority is their children and their family, you know,
Speaker:maybe their front yard doesn't look the way yours does, but everyone in the house is miserable,
Speaker:but no, their children are so well cared for and loved and loved and multi-generational as well.
Speaker:And the grandmother, yeah, like you get to, you hang out a little bit, you realize,
Speaker:oh yeah, that's what's important in life. Yeah. Oh yeah. Those are the important things. Not,
Speaker:not like what I'm showing, you know, front yard is all about what you're showing everybody. It's
Speaker:ego involved. Um, the, the history, I don't even know a fraction of it.
Speaker:It's such a beautiful city to the architecture architecture. Yes. It's the tile. Do you know
Speaker:what I love? The, the tile floors that look like rug, the pasta, the pasta tiles. I don't know why
Speaker:those are called tiles. They look like Persian rugs or like an antique. Oh, they're most like,
Speaker:why get a red? We'll just draw one on these tiles. I want that. Like, I love it this morning that I
Speaker:had the lady at the hotel, take a picture of me in front of it. And I sent it to my mom. And the
Speaker:first thing she said was, oh my gosh, look at the floor. I was like, it's beautiful. Yeah. And then
Speaker:when I heard, yes. Yes. I went to the Hacienda. Magical. Yes. Magical and magical. Yes.
Speaker:There's magic. Yeah, it is. There is magic here. Um, and it's just like anywhere else,
Speaker:but it's easier to find. Like if you're looking for, Oh, at least people do. You're going to find
Speaker:it. But if you're looking for like, what I was looking for is community. Yeah. And so, um,
Speaker:you know, I, I have a nice community. I go to this great bilingual church every Sunday and
Speaker:it's not that I'm so religious or anything, but I'm meeting other people. We all speak English.
Speaker:You know, we do the, you know, we go through the ritual and stuff. And then afterwards,
Speaker:you know, would you like a ticket? I'm going to the symphony's great.
Speaker:Yes. Oh my gosh. I've heard the symphony is wonderful.
Speaker:Things. And you know, I'm going to do, if you want a book club, there's a book club. If you
Speaker:want a swim class, there's a swim club. If you want to walk, you can walk. If you want to just
Speaker:not do anything with anybody, you don't have to either. Yeah. But it's all there. It's all here.
Speaker:Yeah. So one of the other things I love about Merida is the food scene, that global food scene,
Speaker:not, I mean that they have amazing local food and some of the best breakfast I've ever had has
Speaker:been in Merida. But also I just am so impressed with all the international food and yes. And
Speaker:authentic food. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very lucky that I have a lady. Well, first of all,
Speaker:I'm very lucky to have somebody that helps me clean the house. And that is something
Speaker:especially when you're over the age of 50. I think it, you just get so tired. You've raised
Speaker:your children. You've already cooked a lot. You've cleaned a lot and it is so helpful to
Speaker:have somebody cook for you a little bit clean, just a little bit. It is, it is such a, and I,
Speaker:I love that in every house there is a place for that. And even a condo, if you buy a,
Speaker:you know, a three bedroom condo, there is still a service room because everybody does have,
Speaker:it's the culturally people have, they say, you know why they don't have dishwashers?
Speaker:Because you have a dishwasher. Yeah. And I love that you're, you're also supporting
Speaker:the local economy that way as well, because you, that is the role they, they, that's how
Speaker:they earn their money. And I love that, that you're able to also, because it's passing down
Speaker:to another family. It is absolutely. And you have a responsibility to have a responsibility.
Speaker:You know, I'm very fortunate. The lady that helps me out, she is this, I'm a giant. Actually,
Speaker:she's a tiny little lady. She's an incredible cook. And we had some friends that were here.
Speaker:Weddings are big here, like weddings, the destination place. But I asked her to make
Speaker:something, you know, do you know what panuchos are? No, I don't. Well, we call them tostadas.
Speaker:Okay. But it's, it's panucho and there's salbuts and panuchos. Are panuchos the ones that have the,
Speaker:the refried beans in between the two tortillas? Yeah. Okay. Sorry. That's okay. So, so imagine
Speaker:taking a corn tortilla. Okay. And putting some refried bean on it and topping it with another
Speaker:corn tortilla and frying it. Oh my gosh. It sounds amazing. And then topping it with,
Speaker:she just, these are great restaurants and they're inexpensive. She just made a couple at my house.
Speaker:And it was like, I died and gone to heaven. And she just, it was just so delicate. And
Speaker:yeah, the foods here. Yeah. Yeah. Just amazing. Yeah. Delicious. The fruits,
Speaker:they've got squash here and, you know, I'm not like, oh, I love vegetables, but I'll tell you,
Speaker:there's a squash here that you slice up and put in, boil in salt water, put butter on top. It's
Speaker:like amazing. Delicious. And the avocados and everything is big. Oh yeah. It's a huge avocado.
Speaker:Yeah. So I love that. I know. It's bad when I come here because I actually really eat a lot when
Speaker:I, yes it is, but it is healthier. And you know, in the States where our stuff is so processed and
Speaker:so, you know, yes, pesticides and yes, all of that. So even when I go out of the country, even
Speaker:though I'm, I call it hungry girl, I'm hungrier, but I don't gain weight. I really don't when I'm
Speaker:overseas. Um, I noticed that when I'm in Mexico, Belize, France, um, I can really enjoy the food.
Speaker:And so here I love digest it easy. Your body's just like, yeah, yeah. Your body can work with
Speaker:it better because it's fresh. It is fresh. And you could eat if you're broke. Yeah. Really? Okay.
Speaker:Beans. Yeah. Tortillas. Yeah. A little bit of cheese. Tacos. Tomatoes. Free mangoes. Oh,
Speaker:really? So you tell me. Yeah. You go walk around your neighborhood. There's oranges and mangoes and
Speaker:stuff. I loved when you were talking about the parrots earlier, I was on a walk and I could hear
Speaker:all the birds. I, so my last name is bird. So I, I think about birds a lot or seabird, you know,
Speaker:and so I could hear all of these birds and I loved the sound. Is it around, was it around five
Speaker:and there were thousands of them in the trees? It was so many in the trees and they were beautiful
Speaker:too. Bright colored and beautiful, but it was just the sound of the birds were so beautiful. So I
Speaker:I woke up to birds too. I don't know if I liked it as much waking up because I woke up and I was
Speaker:like, what is that squawking? And it was right there by the window. But then I realized it was
Speaker:a bird. At first I thought, is that somebody's, what is that noise? Is that a TV? And then I
Speaker:realized it was a bird. Yeah. Every morning's like, what is that? It's a dog. It's a cat.
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But the, the, you're right. Thanks for reminding me. Cause I,
Speaker:I remember, I think I watched a video that I made, like the first time I was here and I was like,
Speaker:the birds are incredible here, you know? Yeah. Birds. Yeah. Yeah. So something that I,
Speaker:we haven't talked about and I didn't talk about it with my other guests,
Speaker:is there things that you don't like or you miss about the Stags? Patty melts at Denny's.
Speaker:Oh, greasy hamburger. You know, little things like that. Um, uh, little grocery items. I just
Speaker:bought a crock pot. Okay. And I'm like, okay, canned, you know, Campbell's cream of chicken
Speaker:soup. Oh, you can order it, but it's gonna be like $30. Okay. You know, so there's just like
Speaker:weird little food items. Yeah. I had somebody bring me red vines. Yeah. I get to babysit
Speaker:sometimes. There's a little, a friend of mine who has like a little eight year old. I was like,
Speaker:oh, we're going to have movie night. I need red vines, you know? Um, but those are really silly
Speaker:little things. And of course my family, you know, but on my best day, my sons all are married.
Speaker:They are thriving. They have great lives that they're living and I'm not, you know, part of it,
Speaker:living in a room in their house, you know, or seeing them daily, you know, talk on the phone.
Speaker:We FaceTime. I FaceTime with some of them. FaceTime. Yeah. Yeah. And they're good. You
Speaker:know, they're doing really well, you know. Do they live in California? Where do they live?
Speaker:Well, my, uh, two, two of my sons are in government. One of them is a naval officer.
Speaker:He's at the Pentagon. Oh, okay. And then his brother is, um, has, uh, ex-military and he's,
Speaker:uh, uh, was at the White House a while ago. Not that long ago. Now he works in government
Speaker:contracts and things like that. And then my youngest son, the one with three little girls,
Speaker:he's, uh, they have a completely different lifestyle, um, on the coast in California.
Speaker:All right. So tell me about the flights. Are there direct flights? So I'm, I live in Houston.
Speaker:There is a direct flight on United. So I'm an hour and 30 minutes. I love the Houston airport. It is
Speaker:amazing. Oh yeah. It's a great airport. Yeah. It's a great airport. You can get your potty
Speaker:mill there. Yeah. It's a great airport. Tell me about the other flights. How do you get
Speaker:to Washington DC or how do you get to California? Okay. I fly into Dulles. Okay. Okay. And is there
Speaker:a direct flight from here? I stop over in Houston. Okay. Okay. So you take the Houston flight and
Speaker:then go from there? Yes. Yeah. That's how I do it. Okay. And then, um, one little fun way,
Speaker:you know, if you have the time to do it, that when I got here, I don't want to get back and
Speaker:forth. I had pets alone and I was still in sort of a panic state. Yeah. But what I did is I drove
Speaker:from Northern California to San Diego. Okay. San Diego. There's an, a cross border express.
Speaker:Okay. It is like driving up to a very nice mall, but you're really at the airport. So it was in
Speaker:California. Yeah. I walked, Oh, I showed all my papers. I walked into Mexico and there are very
Speaker:affordable flights. And I flew pretty fast. Okay. With all my pets, two cats and two dogs.
Speaker:Okay. One dog at that time, maybe. Um, but alone with all these pets and had,
Speaker:you know, the, the lounge, the, this, the, that fantastic first class business class seating.
Speaker:That's a great tip. I've heard about this airport before. Mexico is really great. Yeah. Really nice.
Speaker:Okay. Lounges are always, you know, nice. They're a nice thing to do at the airport.
Speaker:Um, but that is one way to go. Okay. Okay. So people coming from California,
Speaker:that would be an option for them. Yes. I just didn't know about because Merida,
Speaker:it's like this kind of a secret. It's like a best kept secret. I do. I think the word is starting to
Speaker:get out. Yeah. Yes. You can see in the magazines and then talk about the safety and the city and
Speaker:the history and all that. But also, um, I think that the word is getting out because of all the
Speaker:development, because as you see, it's just growing and growing and growing. Um, but I still think
Speaker:it's a secret in a way. I, I, I meet so many people who've never heard of it and I meet people
Speaker:all the time. You've never heard of it. Yeah. And when you meet somebody that has that, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker:And there's that same little spark. Yeah. I know they love it. They love it. I meet people. We
Speaker:talk about, we go, it was special ago. Yes. Yeah. And it's like this, uh, it's almost like this.
Speaker:Oh yeah. We've been effect calls. It's a call. Yeah. Yeah. There's something. Yeah. There is
Speaker:something magical. I love that. Um, the central properties, the historic ones, my saying is there's
Speaker:something magical behind every door or behind every door. There's something magical because
Speaker:you just have no idea what is behind that door. No idea. And then you're just amazed every time,
Speaker:every time you're like, how is this possible? It could be shocked amazing. Like, Oh my God.
Speaker:And it's hard to hide the amazement too. Sometimes I feel like I walk in a place and I'm just like,
Speaker:Oh my gosh. Like it's so, yes, exactly. Yeah. It was a movie years ago. Um,
Speaker:jewel of the Nile. Okay. So I love, so they go into the country and from the outside it looks
Speaker:like this terrible, you don't know what's and they open the doors and it's paradise. Yes. Every
Speaker:modern convenience. Yeah. Okay. So I feel that way a lot of times you go on the outside on the
Speaker:streets, little dirty little street, you know, you go in swimming pools and fountains and the
Speaker:architecture and the furniture and you just see people and the art doors. Yeah. There's a whole
Speaker:Facebook page on doors of Merida. Really? Yes. Wow. I'll have to look that up. Doors. Yeah.
Speaker:The sky. Really? The sky. Tell me about the sky. It's the sky. And I have another friend
Speaker:if you've sometimes like, we're like, you know, you're feeling weird or whatever. Just let's look
Speaker:up at the sky. And each time it just feels like we're not alone. Like there's a greater purpose,
Speaker:a greater, yeah. You're part of something. This is, you know, this is great. Yeah. Yeah. Tell
Speaker:me about the proximity to the beach. Do you go to the beach or the beach clubs? Are you a beach
Speaker:person? You know what? I never really been a beach person. I was one of those people. Like
Speaker:I've had to be in a swimming pool. Yeah. But I love the beauty of the beach. I love pelicans
Speaker:and things like that. Yeah. And I have friends that like to go to the beach. And when they go,
Speaker:I enjoy myself. Okay. So you go with them if people come to visit and all that. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker:And if I don't own a car. Oh, really? So do you? Oh, Uber's so cheap. Okay. I want to hear about,
Speaker:let's talk, let's finish the beach. And then I want to hear about that. Yeah. But I've never
Speaker:lived so close to a beach before. Yeah. I know. It's so close. 20 minutes. 20 minutes. And it's
Speaker:great drive. Yeah. Straight shot. Yeah. Straight shot. And there's marinas, restaurants. There's
Speaker:some amazing restaurants too. You sit down and you order a drink and they bring you all these
Speaker:free snacks and there's their kayaks and all this. And the people are so friendly. Yeah. I know. I
Speaker:love it. I love it. Okay. So let's talk about transportation. You don't own a car and this
Speaker:is a big city. Don't own a car. This is a big city. And I've had a car since I was like 15
Speaker:years old. Really? Never not had a car. Okay. Well, I've learned that Uber, you can add other
Speaker:stops to Uber. So even if you're going somewhere and then coming right back, you can add your
Speaker:coming right back. But I choose, a lot of times I choose comfort. Okay. Because I don't want to be
Speaker:sweaty. Yeah. I love that. I love that. Okay. So I did this morning. I did. I had a choice of
Speaker:whatever Uber. And then I was like, okay, it's not expensive. I'm getting comfort here. Now I've
Speaker:been places and even in Houston, comfort could be like double the price, but not here. And so,
Speaker:Oh gee, it was $4. Yeah. It was, it was, yeah. So I did this morning, select comfort as well.
Speaker:And it was still a tiny little car and I thought, well, could it get any smaller,
Speaker:but it was very comfortable. So yeah, that's funny that you said that. I love that. Totally.
Speaker:I mean, you know, it's funny. And I had this little eight year old girl that I babysit sometimes
Speaker:and I, uh, her mom was like, gosh, I can't, you know, I'm getting ready for this wedding. I'm at
Speaker:the hair salon. Can you get her? And so I just did it quick. And I picked her up in a car that
Speaker:wasn't comfort. And she looked at me, she's, isn't that comfort? So even the eight year old knew?
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, you know, you know, windows were down, the seats were a little,
Speaker:this or that, but, but the, the cost of getting around is, and a couple of times I've wanted,
Speaker:you know, to have to rent a car, no big deal. Rent the car right to my house. Yeah. Had a
Speaker:great car. It was a nice couple with kids and there's all kinds of regular, um, you know,
Speaker:the major car rental companies are here. I know all of them, all the companies in here,
Speaker:Sam's Costco, you know, yes. I know. I think that makes a lot of, especially American expats feel
Speaker:good. I, I know it doesn't, for me it's, it doesn't, you know, I, I don't even go to Costco
Speaker:at home because it's just too bitch. I like, I'm a little, I get overwhelmed with things,
Speaker:but it does make a lot of American expats feel good to be able to have that. Yes. Yeah. Or to
Speaker:be able to go to places they're familiar with. So whether it be a Kentucky fried chicken or
Speaker:a Chili's or something, they see that and feel, yeah, there's nothing. Yeah. Yeah. The pet food
Speaker:I'm like, just you do you boo, you know? Yeah. So, but it is nice because there's not many,
Speaker:there's not many cities in other countries that where you could still have the conveniences
Speaker:of home. And so that is something that I love about this being a city because it's not just
Speaker:a tourist city. Yes. Yes. You're right. Well, you can also Uber it because last night I discovered
Speaker:that Uber eats has tons of things and Uber delivery. So I love that that convenience is in
Speaker:the city. Yes. Yes. Because a lot of countries don't have any kind of conveniences. Yeah. I
Speaker:would call it the amenities. Yes. The amenities. Yeah. No, that is good. Yeah. I know. I was going
Speaker:to have a good TV shows, you know? Yeah. Um, so I love that you haven't sacrificed the amenities.
Speaker:The amen, right. You might've upgraded some amenities. I think in a lot of ways that when
Speaker:yes. Would I have, would I be on my own having a housekeeper help me once a week? Yeah. Cooking
Speaker:sometimes? Yeah. In the States? Yeah. There's no way. Yeah. No way. Yeah. Yeah. No way. Yeah. No
Speaker:Uber comfort. I'm just kidding. I do like this. Yeah. A little selfish. Yeah, I do. I do. But I
Speaker:also know, and I, it's, it's been really nice to make, you know, have people in my life that are
Speaker:locals. Yeah. And like a friend of mine, he does speak good English. He, um, he'd never been into
Speaker:Home Depot. Really? Ever. Yeah. And he, you know, finally he went into one. We were like, ah, he
Speaker:went to, but, but there are so many locally owned stores, you know, in the front of somebody's like
Speaker:living room. They might turn it into a store where they're selling spray paint and stuff.
Speaker:And it's the opportunities here are limitless. Yeah. It's limitless. Yeah. I love that. I love
Speaker:that. Yeah. What else would you want people to know about your life now that this chapter of
Speaker:your life and then where is it? What's next? What's, what do you see? Well, this, this life
Speaker:here has given me a place, a safe place where I've been able to be like the best me I was meant to be.
Speaker:Like I love that, you know, not a better version of yourself, but a safe, a safe place where I
Speaker:could heal. You know, my heart was broken and my, I was, I wasn't, I did not, I didn't prep for this.
Speaker:Yeah. I really didn't. Yeah. I really, really counted on, you know, because it was married,
Speaker:you know, married young and always kind of dependent on a man and my husband's and stuff.
Speaker:And, and it's given me an opportunity to do that and, and, and coming from a place where I'm not all
Speaker:you know, or whatever. I, I laugh, like I did not get a degree, you know, I, I got out of high school,
Speaker:had, I did, I had babies and I raised some great sons, you know, wonderful grandkids.
Speaker:But, um, I've, I've changed a lot since I was here. And some of it has been a lot less judgy,
Speaker:judgerton about stuff. Um, and that you have to, I think you have to make the choice about
Speaker:like they didn't do that. They're bad, you know? And, and I, I found, I can see both sides of just
Speaker:almost everybody's thing. And I've gotten to the point where I listened to stoicism, you know,
Speaker:just kind of like, I really, really want to know the difference of things that I don't have any
Speaker:control over and really, really not get all involved in upset as much as I can. Yeah. It
Speaker:really is daily, daily practice. And, but the things that I do have control over, I really
Speaker:want to step up. Yeah. So focusing on yourself and the things you can do and the things you can
Speaker:change. Yeah. Animals. Um, yeah. Yeah. Which is an interesting, I think part of getting older is
Speaker:one, recognizing your limitations and just your weaknesses and the things you're never going to
Speaker:be able to change about yourself. And then also changing the things that you can and getting
Speaker:better at things, things that, you know, that you can be better at and then letting things go.
Speaker:And, um, something that I noticed, um, I was staying at a friend of mine's house here and it
Speaker:was new construction. And there was a few things that were really bothering them that weren't
Speaker:perfect because we always want everything perfect. And it was like, it was a year process of let,
Speaker:she told me, she was like, it's a year process of letting go of perfection because it doesn't
Speaker:matter if there's that little crack there, or it doesn't matter because that's just an
Speaker:imperfection that has nothing to do. And I think that is something when you move to another country,
Speaker:some things are 10% better, some things like service or your quality of life,
Speaker:but there are things that maybe the comfort of something, or there's something that's not perfect.
Speaker:And you learn, you're measuring stick changes on perfection is no longer what you're measuring to
Speaker:it's happiness. Right. You know, it's your daily quality of life and happiness and,
Speaker:and changing the measuring. What is the quality? Yeah. You know what? Yeah. What's quality?
Speaker:We've very first got here. There was a lot of the walls here because there's moisture
Speaker:like down here. I remember there was like these cracks in the wall. Then I was, I was appalled.
Speaker:I was, I was appalled. And then I, when I started looking at houses, I thought
Speaker:every house has that. Yeah. They didn't have it. It's because they fixed it a week ago,
Speaker:you know, but that's just part of the thing here. And so many things I used to say, Oh,
Speaker:look at this garbage on the street. I know. Well, you know, I can go pick up the garbage and,
Speaker:but, but look, everybody in the family is taken care of. All the children are good. And yeah,
Speaker:people are hearing them. The adults are taking care of them, you know, like, so, you know,
Speaker:yeah, there's, there's give and take everything. I love that. I love that shift in mindset and
Speaker:priorities. And, and I think that sometimes things in life have to get you there because
Speaker:you don't get there when you're going through like the daily rat race of like life. Yeah.
Speaker:You have to make a choice and sometimes the universe is going to make that choice for you.
Speaker:Yeah. So what's next for you? Do you have any plans or anything,
Speaker:goals that you are looking at as your next chapter?
Speaker:Next is, um, one of my, I have twins. I have two of my sons. He's going to have their,
Speaker:and his wife are going to be moving from Alexandria, Virginia, back to San Diego,
Speaker:and they're going to have a little baby. Oh, another grand baby. Yeah. Another little girl,
Speaker:fourth granddaughter. Wow. Um, but in April I'm going to go visit my oldest son. He's recently
Speaker:moved to Mount Vernon. He lives on George Washington's ex farms or whatever. And I'm
Speaker:going to see their house. And I'd like to, now that things have settled, like for me
Speaker:financially, I feel more stable. Yeah. I feel like now's when I'm going to get serious about
Speaker:studying Spanish. Oh, okay. You know, I tried to before, but somehow going through legal court
Speaker:things with family is not real conducive to me being able to study, but I'm more excited about
Speaker:it now. Um, my father loved Spanish, loves, he studied Spanish till the day he died. Really?
Speaker:And so I want to really, you know, step up and, and really be able to communicate. Um,
Speaker:yeah, I want to improve my Spanish. I want to, um, start getting more into, um, a little bit
Speaker:more, get eat healthier, things like that. It's just starting. Yeah. Well, it seems like you've
Speaker:made a major life shift and I have so enjoyed talking to you. You have so much, I would say
Speaker:vivacious life. Like it's just a joy. You can, you can see the joy, like the, there's just this joy.
Speaker:And I love that story, especially, um, the story of being dependent upon someone
Speaker:having, you're not only just your heartbroken, but then also financially having to recover
Speaker:and then build your own life. I really fell apart, but I was in a place here where I was able to pull
Speaker:it together. I felt like empty dump. Yeah. But, um, yeah. And that's amazing to see because the
Speaker:person that's sitting here today in front of me has this amazing life in together. And that's so
Speaker:inspiring. So I know you're going to inspire so many of our listeners and viewers. I can do it.
Speaker:Anybody could do it. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much. It's been a
Speaker:pleasure.
